The Acre Maker

"It was bad enough that I caught my wife in bed with our plumber, but then during the course of the divorce, I discovered that he had taken some of my tools. After the divorce was final, I sent them both an acre in hell and I hope they enjoy every inch. Anyway, I was fine after a trip to Home Depot."

"Teeing off your acres in hell golf balls was a total hit with the guys. We laughed every time one went into the woods and we said leave it its home!!! "

"At my last home poker game I wore your Acres in Hell hat. Every time I threw a bad beat on someone, I?d tip my head down and say Acres in Hell!"

"I turned forty last week and three people over forty welcomed me to my mid-life crisis with certificates. I laughed so hard it made getting older seem worth it! "

"My wife came around the corner last night wearing the naughty nighttime outfit and said, ?Acres in hell? baby?. It totally lit my fire."

"He actually broke up with me in an e-mail?.I didn't just tell him where to go, I bought him a piece?thank you acres in hell! that dog has been kicked to the curb."

"My wife couldn't boil water, and it has always been a running joke. When I saw the acres in hell apron on your website I couldn't resist and now we laugh every night over burnt sandwiches!!!"